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 Female x Male  Male x Male  Fan Based [Fandoms: NCIS/CM] Someone To Lean On

Discussion in 'Roleplay Execution' started by JaSamFan88, Jun 11, 2018.

  1. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    (Takes place a year after Tony and Ziva slept together, and she left.)

    Ziva had only been back for a month. She had rejoined NCIS, after the crushing loss of her and Tony's daughter, Tali, two months ago. She had been pregnant and had found out when she was back in Israel. She had gone into hiding for several months and done other jobs, when it became obvious that she was pregnant. But then Trent Kort, someone who had defected from NCIS and the CIA, had turned traitor and she had been assigned to capture him, by her father.

    She had taken him down, but not before he got one final dig at her, and Tony.
    Kort had stabbed her 4 times, which had caused the loss of her and Tony's daughter, and nearly cost her her life. Most of what had happened was in her private file. But a lot of it had been sealed so that no one knew about her daughter. Her father, Vance, and Gibbs were the only ones who knew the whole truth. And Tony, well, she'd eventually have to tell him, too. But it was hard to do that when it was easy to see that he was still angry with her for leaving in the first place.

    Outside of being forced to talk during cases, they hadn't spent time together or spoken to each other when it wasn't required. And now that their latest case had been wrapped up, maybe she should reach out to him. She got up and followed Tony as he crossed the room and headed for the elevators. "Tony, I think we should talk.."


    ___________

    He and his team had returned from a case two and a half hours ago. It had been a bad one. A week ago they had been called to Philadelphia. It had taken them less than an hour to get there by plane. And when they got there, it felt like they had stepped into a nightmare. It was like reliving everything with Foyet all over again. A serial killer had shown up in Philadelphia a year ago. The guy kidnapped and killed over 3 dozen women between the ages of 18 and 50. He taunted the police and
    the victim's families.

    And in the end, the lead Detective ended up losing his wife, to said serial killer. Much in the same way Haley had died. Eventually, the killer had been brought down, the Detective had killed the serial killer. But it didn't matter. Not really. There was no getting back the lost loved ones. And no matter how many evil sons
    of bitches they locked up, or had to kill, it didn't stop more from popping up out of the woodwork. So, here he was, seated on the couch in his living room, with
    a bottle of Bourbon next to him, as he drank glass after glass and tried to drink his weight in it.


    His cell phone went off a few minutes later and he set down his glass, and then picked up his phone with a sigh. He honestly couldn't handle another case right now. But one glance at the screen of his phone, just as the doorbell rang, and he realized that it wasn't JJ calling with another case, thankfully. It was Gibbs, and
    his friend had also shown up. Aaron didn't bother to answer the text. He just set his phone down on the counter, got up and got another glass. Then, he poured some Bourbon into the other glass, picked up his glass and the new one and crossed the room to the door.


    He held both glasses in one hand, unlocked the door and stepped back so that his friend could enter. Once Gibbs had entered, the younger man pressed the other glass into his friend's hand. "You seem like you need this, too. Have a seat. Tell me what happened."
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2018 at 11:50 PM
  2. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    "I don't think we have anything to talk about," Tony said, forcing himself to keep his voice even. Since losing her - being left by her - Tony had let some of his jester's mask peel away. It was too difficult to keep it in place when half his heart had been in Israel -- worse yet, now that she was here. During her absence, he'd been able to distract himself from the pain of being abandoned again by throwing himself into work - active cases when he could, cold cases when he had to.

    With her here... work wasn't the same refuge. Every time he looked up from his desk, he was reminded of what they'd had... what she'd thrown away.

    Just like everyone else in his life, she'd walked away.

    Tony stepped into the elevator and punched the button for the ground floor. This last case had cleaned his clock, and the last thing he wanted was to have a "talk" with Ziva. Investigating the murder of a petty officer - a murder his young daughter had witnessed - left him too heartsick to deal with any more tonight.


    * ~ *

    Gibbs took the proffered glass gratefully. "Yeah." Already, he could feel his shoulders unknotting. Time with Hotch generally had that effect on him -- which was why he was here, instead of in his basement. That, and he didn't want to be home if any of his team came calling tonight. He knew they relied on him - knew that this last case had been hard on them all - but some nights he couldn't handle adding anyone else's pain to his own.

    "Heard about your case," Gibbs said as he lowered himself onto the couch. His damn knees were giving him fits again, and the running pursuit today hadn't helped. There was no satisfaction in the arrest today, either. A good soldier was dead, and his nine-year-old daughter was traumatized... and all Gibbs could do was slap a bandaid on it, and put it away.

    He sipped at the bourbon, his eyebrows lifting. "The good stuff, Hotch? I didn't realize the case was that bad."
     
  3. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    Ziva didn't let Tony's words deter her. "I am serious, Tony. We need to talk. I owe you some truths about why I left. I know that I should have told you that I was leaving, or told you as soon as I returned to NCIS. But, I was not ready. I think I am ready, now, though. I just need you to give me a chance to explain. I know that you still care. If you were over it, you would not be so angry still. You would have moved on and found someone new. So, please. Give me a chance to be honest with you and explain what has happened in the last year."

    "It will not make up for my leaving, but it will hopefully help you to understand why I had to leave. I do not think that I am asking for much, just that you listen to what I have to say, and then you can go back to hating me and I will leave you alone."

    _____________________

    Aaron closed the door behind them and locked it. Then he joined his friend on the couch and took another sip of Bourbon, before he rested his hand on one leg, the glass still in hand. "It was a mess, and a nightmare. Hit too close to home and reminded me of Haley," He explained, and then shrugged and took another sip. After he swallowed, he said, "Sometimes I have to remember that I'm human, too. Not just the team leader, who everyone relies on. I'm human and I need time to process and work through things."

    He motioned to the bottle of Bourbon, and then turned the conversation to his friend's case. "Heard about yours, too. Sorry to hear that we lost another good one." The dark haired man sighed. "I honestly hate cases that involve kids. Obviously, not because I hate kids. But because more often than not, it means something terrible has happened to a kid." He resumed drinking and let silence fall between the two of them, lost in their thoughts.
    In spite of the silence, it didn't stop him from placing what he hoped was a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder, with his free hand.

    "Something I learned from being at this for as long as I have, is that you have to focus on the good days. I know that it's hard, but you have to try. They're honestly the only thing that gets you through the kind of jobs we have. Well, that and our teams. We both know our teams are made up of amazing men and women, and we'd do anything
    for them and they'd do anything for us. That kind of loyalty is rare, and we're both lucky to have found it with our teams and friends. But anyway, I'm gonna shut up now."

    "Feel free to talk, or not talk about anything. I'm happy to listen, or just be here with you so that you don't have to be alone." He motioned down the hall, a few moments later. "Jack's playing video games in his bedroom, so he'll be entertained for a while, and we can do whatever."
     
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2018
  4. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    "I don't hate you, Ziva." The words were out before Tony could stop them -- his voice resigned, his posture defeated. He knew he'd lost the instant the words were out of his mouth -- because she was right. He did still care.

    That's why it hurt so damned much.

    Just as the elevator doors started to shut, he slammed his hand over them, forcing them to stay open. "I'm not taking you back to my place," he said sharply. "Not -- not there. If we've got to talk... neutral ground." He didn't think he could stand seeing her in his apartment again, not without folding completely and wanting to take her to bed. "Just get in the damned elevator."

    He knew he was being rude. Knew it was to cover for his raw emotions - and knew she probably could see right through him.

    * ~ *

    The hand that rested on Gibbs' shoulder was warm. That was his first thought - which was an idiotic observation, really, because wouldn't any hand be warm? But it surprised him all the same, and he had to wonder at his own reaction. Maybe Abby was right about the power of hugs - or at least, human touch. It had been a damn sight too long since he'd touched or been touched in any capacity outside of his official one -- unless one counted headslaps.

    "You don't have to shut up," Gibbs said finally. He looked down into his bourbon. "I think I came over to not be alone - not be in the quiet. Doesn't mean I want to fill it myself." There were reasons, after all, that his team not-so-jokingly called him a functional mute. He was far more accustomed to listening and observing than to speaking. It was one of Hotch's better qualities, Gibbs thought - that he understood how important silence could be.

    But his traitorous mind caught on one phrase. 'Do whatever.' That, and the hand on his shoulder, sent Gibbs' mind down a path he shouldn't tread. He knew part of it was just the after effects of a bad case -- but not all of it. He'd had worse cases without feeling like he wanted to -- well. Wanted to 'do whatever' with his friend.
     
  5. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    "Thank you for saying that you do not hate me." Ziva didn't argue when Tony told her to get into the elevator. She stepped inside and waited as the doors closed behind her. Then she reached around Tony and flipped the switch like Gibbs usually did to stop and lock the elevator in place. "I did not have any plans to go back to your place, Tony. Neutral ground is fine. Here is fine. We are alone and I can explain everything that has happened." The young woman sighed and took a few minutes to pull her thoughts together as she tried to figure out how to say what she needed to say.

    A few moments later she said, "I left because I had to. Things between us had changed, in a good way. But also in a possible not so good way. I found myself falling for you, and I did not want to. You started to mean more to me than as a coworker
    . I fell in love with you, Tony. And it scared me. More than almost anything else in the world. And then after I left, when I found out... that I was pregnant, it messed with my head even more."
    She took a few moments to fight back the emotions she felt when she remembered being pregnant.

    "I had returned to Israel, and a few weeks later, I found out. And I did not tell you, or anyone here. I told my father, and a few people that I was working with at the time, and that was it. I took on other jobs while I was pregnant, and one of them ended up being that I took Trent Kort out, after my father told me to capture him, when he defected from NCIS and the CIA. Before I could take him out though, he stabbed me 4 times. I lost the baby and nearly lost my life, too. The baby was a girl. I had planned to name her Tali, after my sister."

    "But, she died. And it took me some time to pull myself together after losing her. It is why I did not come back sooner. I took 2 months to come to grips with it and grieve and accept the loss. And I knew once I had dealt with it in my own way, I needed to come back here. I needed to be with my family, and I needed to be honest and tell you. Now I have."


    __________________________

    Aaron's hand that rested on Gibbs' shoulder, squeezed it once, then twice, and then he released it and placed his hand back at his side. "You always have been the closed mouth sort," He teased lightly. A small smile came to his lips as he listened to his friend speak. "So, I was thinking. Jack's going to be spending the weekend with Haley's sister. She'll be here to pick him up in an hour. If you wanted to stay over, you and I could do some steaks in the backyard. Have a late dinner. Well, unless you've already eaten."

    "I'll unplug the house phone but I'm keeping my cell phone on in case there's an emergency with Jack. But this way, no one would bother us this weekend. I mean, they'd have to actually drive over to interrupt." After he spoke, he paused for a moment and then set his drink down on the table. Then he turned and faced Gibbs, and stared at
    his friend for several moments before leaning in close, so their lips met.
    He wasn't sure what had come over him. Over the years they had known each other, he'd respected, befriended, and come to like Gibbs.

    But lately when they spent time together, his feelings for his friend had started to feel like a different kind of feelings. More like romantic feelings.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2018
  6. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    It would have been less painful, Tony thought, if Ziva had just pulled out her gun and shot him in the gut.

    "You were pregnant?" he breathed, and for a moment he was afraid he'd pass out. "You -- we -- " More of her statement filtered through his shock, and he started to laugh hysterically. "You loved me too much to stay? Too much to tell me you were carrying my child?" He was laughing -- because it was either that, or crumple into a ball and cry. "And you told your father, who sent you on missions... pregnant... and sent you after a man who killed our child?"

    Tears were streaming down Tony's face but he ignored them, trying to find the store of anger inside him instead. All he could feel was more loss. His mother. Wendy. Jeanne. Ziva. Now this unknown daughter -- Tali.

    "I can't do this." Tony reached for the button to resume the elevator's motion. "I just -- I can't."

    * ~ *

    It should have felt awkward, a small part of Gibbs' brain insisted. It shouldn't have felt like coming home. He fumbled to set his bourbon on the table as well before sliding a hand to the back of Aaron's neck... not in command or control, but to anchor himself as he let his rational mind disconnect. Aaron tasted of bourbon and coffee, and it was abruptly Gibbs' favorite flavor. He pulled back for a moment, thinking they should be circumspect with Jack still home, but found he couldn't keep away. He kissed Aaron again, this time with heat, sliding his hand from the back of Aaron's neck up into his hair, massaging his scalp. "Yeah. Weekend," Gibbs managed to say, pressing his forehead against Aaron's. "No interruptions. Good idea."

    He tried to pull away a second time, managing to put a good six inches between their lips... just far enough to give his brain a chance to reboot. "Are you sure?" He was asking about more than just the offer of steaks -- hoped that Aaron could profile him well enough to know how many different levels he was asking on. The last thing he wanted to do was ruin a friendship with sex -- not if it was just loneliness or a case-hangover. He was fairly certain his own feelings were deeper than that, but he didn't know if Aaron's were.
     
  7. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    "I understand," Ziva said softly, and she didn't fight it when Tony turned the elevator back on and they rode to the bottom floor. When the doors opened, she remained where she was and watched him walk away. She didn't know what to say, not that there was any left for her to say. She had come back because this was her home. Tony was her home, and she missed him, and the rest of their friends. She had owed him the truth of why she had left and everything that had happened to her while she had been gone.

    And now he had it and could do whatever he wanted with it. She pushed her hair out of her face and remained in the elevator for several more minutes, giving him time to get to his car and leave. Once she was sure that he was gone, she took a few breaths to try and steady her nerves, and exited the building and headed for her own car. His tears and his sadness had pulled at her heart and it had taken everything in her to mask her feelings.
    She got into her own car and sat there for several minutes, pulling herself together enough so she could drive without causing an accident.

    She had to force herself not to reach into her pocket and pull out what was in her wallet, at least not until she was safe at home and no longer driving. Half an hour later, she pulled up at her house, got out, locked the car and headed up the porch. She unlocked the door and went inside, closing and locking it behind her. She removed her gun, made sure the safety was on, and put it away. Then, the young woman collapsed onto her couch, and pulled out her wallet. In her wallet, were the ultrasound pictures she had gotten of her daughter.

    There were copies in her closet for Tony, but she debated giving them to him, not wanting to hurt him even more. She looked at these pictures every day to make sure she never forgot. A lone tear made its way down her cheek, and was quickly followed by tons more.
    "You were the best part of Tony, and the best part of me.."
    The words left her lips, and Ziva looked at the pictures for a few moments longer, before putting them back in her wallet. She got up and put her wallet away, and then crossed the room to her liquor cabinet.

    She didn't really get drunk, but right about now she was just looking to make her mind fuzzy and push away the pain. As soon as the liquid went down her throat, she knew it would take a lot to make her pass out, and that was fine. She was prepared to drink the rest of the night if that's what it took. Because when she passed out, that was the only escape she got from the pain. No matter how much she tried to move on. No matter how much she acted like it didn't hurt, it did. She was just good at hiding it. Always had been and always would be. Which was what caused other people to think she didn't care, when she did. It was just hard for her to show it. To anyone. Even those she trusted.

    ___________________________

    Aaron felt a jolt of satisfaction when Gibbs set his drink down as well, and didn't push him away. And when the other man's hand moved to the back of his neck, he enjoyed the tingles the touch sent through him. When the other man pulled back, he started to ask if everything was okay, but there wasn't time for that, before they were kissing once more. The feeling of the other man's hand moving from his neck, up to his hair, caused him to sigh happily against the other man's lips. When the second kiss ended and Gibbs started to talk, he smiled once more.

    When more space was put between them, his first instinct was to move into that space. But then Gibbs spoke again, and he found himself nodding as he spoke. "I wouldn't have started this if I wasn't prepared to go through with it. I just ask that we keep things PG until Jack leaves." A sigh of relief went through him, even as he reluctantly pulled away, as the sound of Jack's voice carried from his room. He cleared his throat and put a normal amount of space between them, as his son came bursting into the room with a bag in hand.

    "Let me guess, Aunt Jess will be here any minute, right?" A smile came to his lips as his son nodded. It was typical Jessica to say one thing and do another. But it was something he had come to accept about his ex sister in law over the years. When she said she'd be there in an hour, she'd usually be there in 10 minutes, or several
    hours later. The horn sounded from outside, and before his son could leave, he quickly crossed the room and pulled Jack into a hug. "Remember, be good for Aunt
    Jess."

    "Don't give her any trouble, and don't hesitate to call me if you need anything, okay?" Several minutes later, he returned to the couch after Jack had left. "Now that Jack's safe with Jess, maybe we can get back to what we were just doing.." Once he had spoken, he leaned in and pressed his lips against the other man's once more.

    __________________________

    Jack nodded at his father's words, quickly hugged him, and then spotted Gibbs. "Hey Gibbs!" He said to his father's friend, and then he crossed the room and paused for a moment, before shrugging and then hugging him as well, before releasing him. He waved goodbye to both of them and headed for the door. "Hope you guys enjoy your steaks!" And after he said that, he pulled the door shut behind him and glanced at the window where he knew his father would be standing. He got into the car with his
    Aunt, and a few minutes later, the two of them took off and headed to have dinner and a movie together
    .

    It was tough being around his Aunt because she reminded him of his mother most times. But it was also a good thing that they got to spend time together. They talked about his mother a lot, which was something his father refused to do. Not because they had had a nasty divorce, but because he knew how much his father still hurt over losing her.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2018 at 8:57 AM
  8. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    Tony's first instinct was to head for Gibbs' basement. He knew he needed to talk to someone -- knew he needed both to vent and get advice. But the thought of telling Gibbs that Ziva had been pregnant - that they had lost a daughter - no. That would be rubbing salt in the boss's wounds, and Tony tried not to do that. (He didn't always manage to avoid it, but it was never intentional.)

    His next thought was Ducky -- but wasn't certain that he had the fortitude to deal with the older man's tales or platitudes tonight. Ducky meant well, but it wasn't always easy to wade through the "When I was a lad" to the actual advice.

    His only two other choices were Tim and Jimmy -- and at least Jimmy had a successful relationship. He waited until he was in his apartment with a beer - any harder liquor seemed like a bad idea -- before plucking his cell phone from his pocket and dialing. When Jimmy answered, Tony said, "Black Lung. You got a minute? I... need to talk."

    * ~ *

    Gibbs accepted Jack's hug, and thought of Abby again. She was really the only other person who hugged him regularly, and it surprised him that Jack would do it so freely. Surprised - but pleased. He didn't manage to get any words out before the boy left, but Jack was probably used to that by now. Gibbs uttered maybe one word for every ten the boy said, so it didn't seem unusual tonight.

    Alone in the home with Aaron now, Gibbs felt unaccountably awkward... until he was kissed again. "I should arrest you," Gibbs murmured against Aaron's lips between kisses. "Your lips are an addictive and intoxicating substance." He slid one hand back into Aaron's hair, the other down to his waist. He wasn't entirely joking... he felt too euphoric, almost high, and couldn't blame the partial glass of bourbon he'd had. No... this was all Aaron.

    Knowing his knees would punish him for it later, Gibbs moved to straddle Aaron on the couch, careful not to put too much weight on him but intentionally pinning him in place. The hand in his hair tightened, then began a slow scalp massage as Gibbs' left hand moved to Aaron's collar, pulling it to one side so that he could place kisses on the soft, hidden skin. "Tell me what you want," he whispered as he continued the kisses up Aaron's neck to his ear. "Tell me what it is you were thinking of, when you decided you were prepared to go through with this."
     
  9. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    "He's gotten a lot more touchy feely since his mother died," Aaron explained, when he saw that Gibbs was surprised at Jack's hug. "Sorry if it made you uncomfortable. He and my team are close, and they're all pretty touchy feely with him, too. So, I kind of think he expects that out of most people now. If you want, I can talk to him and make sure he doesn't do it again." He stopped talking as they resumed kissing, and a rumbling laugh that shook his whole body went through him, when Gibbs said that he should arrest him for being addictive and intoxicating.

    "You'd have to arrest yourself, then, too. Because damn, I can't get enough of you." A shiver of pleasure went through him when one of the other man's hand went back into his hair, and the other slid down to his waist. A grin turned up his lips when Gibbs straddled him on the couch. "Maybe we should switch positions. Just to be safe," He offered, knowing that the position would probably end up hurting the other man. His head tilted back when Gibbs tightened his hand in his hair and began to massage it.


    When the other man's other hand moved his collar to the side, he shifted a little and his own hands moved to the other man's waist. A soft sigh of pleasure left his lips, when Gibbs kissed his neck. "I was thinking that for the first time in a long time, both of us have a chance to be with someone that makes us happy. Happy for real this time, and not just because it's what's expected of us. We don't have anyone left to answer to.
    And though I might need to explain things to Jack eventually, it's not at that point yet."

    "But, he's not going to have a problem with it. He's a good kid. A really good kid, he understands more than you'd think. Also, it helps that he likes you. He thinks it's great that you were in the Navy. And he loves it when I tell him about your cases. I obviously leave some of the more inappropriate things out, like I do when I tell him about my teams cases. But he thinks it's pretty cool that you still work with the Navy.
    That you and your team try to help sailors, petty officer's, and the rest." After a few moments, Aaron trailed off and stopped talking about Jack.

    He pushed his hips up and pressed against Gibbs firmly. "We don't have to stay on the couch. Unless you want to. I'm fine with doing whatever you're more comfortable with. And if at any time you have second thoughts or decide you just want to stop, all you need to do is say so. Nothing's going to happen here without both of us being into it." After he spoke, he stopped talking and kissed Gibbs again, even as he pressed his crotch against the other man's, even more firmly than he had before. A moan tore from his mouth as he kissed Gibbs, the sound strangled.
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2018
  10. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    "I wasn't upset by the hug," Gibbs explained between kisses. "Surprised. People don't hug me - except Abby." He switched to nibbling for a bit, working his way up Aaron's ear and then kissing across his hairline to the other ear. "Don't need him to stop." Wouldn't want him to -- the trust of a child, no matter how old... that was something sacred to Gibbs. He could never replace his Kelly, but he was beginning to think there was room enough in his heart to love other children.

    "And Aaron," Gibbs whispered throatily as he reached the other ear, "I was a Marine, not a squid. Get it right, g-man." He'd been trying to sound his usual gruff self, but there was too much humor in his tone to be an effective growl. "I'm glad your son likes the stories -- but let's not talk about him for now." He stood -- creakily, because his knees really hadn't appreciated the position, and reached for Aaron almost before he'd fully stood.

    "Can't get enough of you," Gibbs murmured, pulling Aaron to his feet and then towards him, pressing their full bodies together. "And I believe I asked first - what did you have in mind? Not saying we'll do it," Gibbs cautioned, "but... now's the time to tell me." He slid a hand down Aaron's back and to his toned ass -- not squeezing or cupping it, just stroking the muscle groups.

    * ~ *

    By the time Tony hung up the phone with Jimmy, he felt calmer. More balanced. He'd even exchanged a few words with Breena -- not about Ziva, but because Breena had heard Jimmy say his name, and wanted to say hi. Just a normal, caring gesture.

    While he still had this calm - knowing it was temporary - Tony booted up his personal laptop and opened his email. He stared at it for ten minutes before rising to open another beer, switch on an old Coltrane record, and return to the keyboard.

    Dear Ziva,

    I know this is the coward's way to do this. You deserve better, but I can't do better right now. I am rationalizing it to myself as better to have a lousy response now than to make you wait until I know how to give you better -- because I don't know how long that will be.

    I want to say I am still angry at you - and I suppose in some aspects I am - but more, I'm hurt. You left me, Ziva. You left me like every other woman I've ever loved, romantically or not. My mother died. Wendy left me. Kate died. Jeanne left me. Hell, the only woman I love that hasn't abandoned me is Abby -- and that's probably because I've never let her get too close. Now you tell me that not only did I lose you, but our daughter?

    You have had time to comes to grip with Tali's existence, however brief. I have not. I'm mad as hell that you kept me from sharing that with you, Ziva. Didn't I deserve to see her heartbeat? Didn't our love mean enough that I could watch her move on the sonogram? I would have thought it had. Obviously I was wrong.

    I know that you felt you needed to tell me -- like it was some kind of magic spell that would make everything alright again. It isn't. The time to tell me was the moment you found out you were pregnant with my child. I would have dropped everything and come to you, Ziva. Handed in my badge and gun, liquidated everything I own, taken us both -- all three, God -- off the grid. But I wasn't good enough for that. Good enough to tease at work... good enough for a quick fuck after a takedown or a slow one after a case went wrong. Not good enough to take care of you - or our daughter.

    I don't know if there is any coming back from this, Ziva. I still love you, and I'm still mad as hell at you. I can be professional and do the job when we're on the clock, but I don't know if I can do anything else.

    Sometime, when you're ready for a reality check, as Gibbs what I was like while you were off in Israel. You know he'll give you a real answer, and I think you need to hear it from somebody other than me. Jimmy, Ducky, Tim - they can all give you pieces of it. Even Abby.

    I need you to not push, Ziva. I know that you've been hurt too, and I'm not saying you shouldn't talk to your friends about it. Just... not me. I need some time to figure out if I can ever be the man who loves you again.

    Ciao,
    Tony
     
  11. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    Aaron nodded as he listened to Gibbs speak. He let out a chuckle when the other man corrected him. "Sorry. It's not my fault that you're good at distracting me and keeping me from thinking straight." They both got up and left the couch as they headed to his bedroom. He pushed open the door to his bedroom and led Gibbs inside, not bothering to close it, since they were the only ones there. "I want it all," He said softly, and looked up and met the other man's eyes. "I want to sleep with you. I want more than that."

    "But I also don't want to screw up our friendship. You mean a lot to me. More than I thought was possible, after... after." The younger man moved to sit down on the bed, kicked his shoes off, and then reached for the other man's hands and tugged him onto the bed beside him. "How do you want to do this?" He asked, and then leaned over and reached into the bedside table and pulled out some condoms. "Do you wanna top, or bottom? I'm not going to assume anything..." He said, and then leaned in and started to kiss Gibbs neck, while he waited for an answer.


    __________________________


    Tony,

    I did not want you to do that. I did not want you to turn in your gun and badge, and drop everything and come after me. I did not want you to give up your life, your friends, your family, your career, all for me. I did not want to leave, but I was not given a choice. The thing is, I was reassigned by my father. It is the reason I left NCIS in the first place. He talked to Vance, pressured him to the point where Vance had no choice but to agree to let me go. My father wanted me back in Israel and it is what he got. He wanted me under his thumb, and he somewhat got it.

    He repaired his friendship with Vance, and once that happened, he used me to kill Trent Kort. My father played on my insecurities. With you, with Gibbs, with the others. Telling me that I needed to kill Kort to make sure that the rest of you would be safe. So I did, and it blew my life apart, in more ways than you will ever know. I have always
    felt like everyone saw me as just a replacement for Kate. And Abby even said as much when I first showed up. I have to wonder if I am still seen as just the replacement.


    You say that you love me, but I did not know that. We never said those words to each other, and I was not about to force you to be a parent, when I got pregnant from a one night stand. You are right when you said that you deserved to know about Tali. I messed up, and I am sorry. I am sorry that I hurt you. Sorry, that you did not get to know about her until it was too late. I can honestly say, that I never expected to be gone for so long. I planned to take maybe a few months, capture Kort, and then return to
    NCIS.

    But it did not work out that way. Kort proved harder to capture than I originally planned. He was much more dangerous than I gave him credit for, and in the end, I killed him when he tried to kill me, but not before... Well, not before the most precious thing was taken away. As for you thinking you were not good enough.. That is not true. You are not going to want to hear this, but I thought I was protecting you by leaving and going after Kort. From Kort. From me. You deserve better than I can ever be. And when I realized that, it was a hard pill for me to swallow.

    Also, I did not want you to protect me. I wanted us to be partners. Equals. I guess I really blew that. I had planned to return and tell you everything. But those plans went up
    in smoke. I can understand if seeing me is too much. I can ask Gibbs to have me reassigned to another team, if it will make things easier for you. I do not want to hurt you
    any longer, so whatever you want to happen, I will go along with it, no questions asked. As for talking to the others about this, that is not going to happen. You and Gibbs
    are the only ones who would understand.

    And I am not going to bring this up in front of him. As it will no doubt remind him of his own daughter and bring his pain back. As for you, if and when you want to fully talk about it, I will. You mentioned sonograms earlier. I attached the pictures, and the video of the moving ones, to this email for you. I also have copies for you here at my place
    if you want them. Just let me know. I am sorry for how much hurt and pain I have caused you. I know that I will never be able to make it up to you. But I will not lie and tell you that I would not do it again.

    If I thought I could protect you and the others, I would do it again in a heartbeat, no matter how much the end results hurt. I love you, Tony. Before now, I have never been able to say it. But I will now. Even if it is just in an email. I love you. It is the second hardest thing I have ever had to say, second only to telling you about Tali. I will take you
    at your word and not push. I just hope that someday you can forgive me for leaving, keeping Tali a secret, and for getting our daughter killed. I do not know what else to
    say, except I am sorry, for everything.

    - Love, Ziva
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
  12. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    Gibbs pulled himself out his Aaron-fueled haze long enough to give the question serious thought. "I don't do casual," Gibbs warned. "And I don't share." That last he growled, reaching for Aaron with an almost predatory look on his face. "If we do this... if we do this tonight, it's just us - for however long it lasts." Which, Gibbs was beginning to realize, might be a hell of a long time.

    Gibbs reached for a condom, twirling it in his fingers. "I want both. Equal partners," he said quietly. "Don't have to keep score or anything just... equal." He set the condom back down on the bed. "But I'm not done warming you up, Aaron." He rolled slightly until he was half covering Aaron -- not enough to seriously impede his movement, but enough to press his erection against Aaron's thigh, and put his neck in easy kissing range. "Does that magic drawer of yours also have lube in it?"

    * ~ *

    Tony had been waiting half in dread, half in anticipation to hear the little chime from his laptop that meant an incoming email. (It had happened three times already tonight -- all junk. He was now halfway through a letter to the editor about the evils of spam email.)

    He read it through quickly the first time, then again more slowly. By the end of his second reading, the only thing he could do was lay his head down on the table and sob. When he looked at the photographs and the videos, he couldn't even do that any more.

    He slammed the laptop shut - not even caring if he might have damaged it - and rummaged in his liquor cabinet for something strong enough to put him out of his misery. For the first time in a number of years, it flitted through Tony's head that he wouldn't really mind if he didn't wake up tomorrow.

    The worst of it was that he wanted to forgive her. He wanted to say whatever it took to have her back in his life - and in his arms. But he knew that would be a mistake, at least right now.

    But God, how he ached for her. I mean, yeah - his body wanted hers -- that had never gone away. But he also wanted the sweetness of her early morning smile, and the fierceness in her eyes when they debated an obscure movie point... he wanted her.

    He just didn't think he deserved her.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018
  13. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    Aaron chuckled softly at the other man's words. "You don't have to worry about that. I'm terrible at casual, and I don't plan on sharing, either." A grin came to his lips when he took in the look on the other man's face. It widened when Gibbs growled in a predatory way. "I'm in agreement with everything you've said.." He said, wanting to make it known that they were on the same page. He laughed softly when the other man asked if his magic drawer had lube in it. "Yeah, it does. Hold that thought for just a minute."

    The brunet pressed a quick kiss to the other man's lips. Then he leaned back a little and stretched to reach the bedside table again, where he pulled out the lube and set it down on the bed beside them. As soon as he felt the other man's erection against his thigh, a moan burst from his lips, and he once more thrust up against Gibbs. "I don't have a problem with you topping, if you're comfortable with it." After he spoke, he kissed the other man, and then went for his pants and wasted no time pulling them down and off.


    ________________

    Ziva waited for a while to see if Tony was going to respond to her email. She wasn't sure whether she expected him to tell her off, or for him to talk to her normally. But when an hour passed, and then two, and he didn't reply, she realized that he was struggling to cope. And after she realized that, she turned off her computer and made up her mind to do something. It might not have been the best idea, but she didn't know what else to do right now.
    Several minutes later, she got out the copies she had saved
    of the sonogram photos and the videos.

    All of which lasted until her 8th month. Which was when she had her showdown with Kort. She had only sent a few of the sonogram pictures and videos in the email. What she was bringing to him, was all of it. She also brought the stuffed bear she had had personally made, which was white with a heart in the middle of it, with their daughter's name 'Tali DiNozzo,' on it.
    After she had packed everything into her car, she drove over to Tony's house. She took a few moments to collect herself and then placed everything on the steps right in front of his door.

    And then she quickly rang the doorbell and knocked, before heading back to her car. She didn't want to anger him, but she also didn't want to keep everything about their daughter, to herself any longer. The young woman walked back over to her car, and paused and stood beside it.
    She watched as Tony opened the door and looked around. And when his eyes dropped to the ground where she had left everything, she could see his back stiffen as he realized that these were things about and for their daughter.

    Ziva saw him looking around, probably looking for her, but she didn't give him a chance to probably tell her off. She got back into her car, and drove back to her own house. Once she was inside and everything was locked up, she moved to lay down in her bed, and didn't fight it as the tears streamed unchecked down her cheeks. Her whole body shook as she kept her sobs silent. For the millionth time in the last year, she couldn't help but wish things had turned out differently. For Tali. For herself. For Tony. For their family.

    But it was no use, as that wish would never come true.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
  14. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    "Comfortable with it?" Gibbs repeated, reveling in the newly exposed flesh and eager to feel more. "Not like making love to you is a chore, Aaron." He couldn't bring himself to use a more vulgar phrase -- he wasn't planning on just fucking Aaron, and this wasn't just sex. "But I meant what I said about equals..." he breathed in Aaron's ear. "I expect you to return the favor. Maybe not tonight, but this weekend." He tugged at Aaron's shirt until he could get a hand underneath it, running his fingertips over the skin. He could feel old, healed scars -- hell, he had plenty of them himself -- but knew what these were from... and could guess that Aaron might feel self-conscious about them. Still... "I want to see you. All of you," Gibbs growled, even as his hand reached for one of Aaron's nipples under his shirt. He couldn't help but groan as Aaron ground against him -- it had been too damned long.

    * ~ *

    When Tony first realized what the box in front of him held, his initial reaction was blinding anger.

    How dare she try to manipulate him like this? It wasn't enough that she was pushing back into his life, but now she had to thrust everything he'd lost into his face? Was this just her way of forcing herself on him, knowing that he'd want to know every scrap of information about the daughter they'd nearly had?

    For the second time that night, he debated heading for Gibbs' basement. All that stopped him was knowing just how drunk he was, and that he'd likely get a lecture about Rule 12 rather than the support he wanted.

    But with Gibbs in mind... he didn't let his anger loose on the box of memories. He understood abruptly why Gibbs could never seem to get rid of anything of Shannon or Kelly's -- because the thought of losing so much as a scrap of paper regarding their daughter made Tony feel physically ill. (That could also have been the prodigious amount of liquor in his system - but the effect was the same.)

    Tony carried the items in to his kitchen table and sat - still drunk, still drinking - and went through ever item. He touched every sonogram -- played every video. Smoothed his fingers over the stuffed bear.

    Then he put his head down on his arms on the table and cried.
     
  15. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    Aaron chuckled at Gibbs's words and was happy to let his friend remove his clothes, even as he pulled down and then off, the other man's pants. "For someone who's known for not talking a lot, you sure say the right words in few words.." He said and reached out to turn Gibbs's face towards his for another kiss. He broke the kiss a few moments later to reply. "I can't wait to return the favor," He assured him, a smile on his lips. A soft moan left him, as he felt Gibbs's hand roam under his shirt and then across his flesh.

    As soon as Gibbs had said that he wanted to see his body, he nodded. The brunet carefully pushed the other man off him and down onto the bed. And once that happened, he made quick work of removing his tie, taking off his shirt and tossing them both aside. Then he undid his belt and removed it and his pants and boxers,
    and tossed them aside, too. Once he was completely naked, he turned back to Gibbs, and lost the restraint he'd been showing. He pulled Gibbs's shirt off and tossed it aside, and he spared
    no time.

    Aaron went for the other man's pants and everything else, ripped them off and tossed them aside, too. When they were both naked, his first reaction was to lean forward and press a kiss over Gibbs's heart. It was probably a cheesy thing to do, but who cared? No one else but Gibbs would know, and his friend knew that he was the emotional and touchy feely type. He was just better at suppressing it in most situations. "Your sentimental side is showing, Jethro." He couldn't help but tease, when Gibbs talked about making love to him.

    As the other man's hands roamed over his body, he reached out and picked up the condom off the bed, and tore the wrapper. A few moments later, he picked up the lube and the condom and placed them in Gibbs's hands. "I trust you," He said, in complete seriousness. They had been in enough life threatening situations over the years for
    him to know Gibbs wouldn't hurt him. At least not intentionally.


    _____________

    Ziva pulled herself together and reached for her phone. A few moments later, she texted Abby and asked her friend to go over to Tony's place, because he needed a friend. The tiniest hint of a smile came to her lips when Abby replied back and agreed.

    ________________________

    Abby wasn't asleep. She'd been at home, sitting in her bedroom with the music blaring and an old black and white movie playing, as she wrote in her journal. When her cell phone went off with a text, she read it and wasted no time sending a reply back. Once that was done, she finished writing in her journal and then got up and saved it. After doing that, she got up and slipped on her shoes and grabbed her keys. It didn't take her long to drive to Tony's place. When she got there, she parked beside his car, got out
    of hers and locked it.

    The dark haired woman crossed to the front door and knocked. It took a few minutes, but when he showed up and answered the door, she stared at him for a moment, and took him in. Then, she pushed past him and walked inside. "Rule 28." She said and didn't bother to wait for him to follow her, as she headed for the kitchen and started to
    get some coffee going. She was well aware that he might not want company, but she didn't care.
    It looked like Ziva was right when she said Tony seemed like he needed a friend right now.

    Once the coffee was going, she crossed the kitchen back to where he was. And without waiting for him to agree or push her away, she wrapped her arms around his waist, and hugged him tightly. As they hugged, her glance landed on the table and she saw a few things on the table, but instead of trying to get a better look, she looked away. It wasn't her business unless Tony wanted her to know. So instead, she simply rested her head against him, and continued to hug him for as long as he needed. She would be there for her friend, whether he was ready for it, or not. Whether he wanted it or not. Because that's what a friend did. Correction. That's what a family did, and their team was a family.
     
    Last edited: Jun 21, 2018 at 12:25 AM
  16. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    "And you say my sentimental side is showing?" Gibbs asked lightly when Aaron kissed over his heart. "I don't think I'm the only one." He tangled his hand back in Aaron's hair - he couldn't get enough of it - and gently pulled until he could kiss those full lips. Condom and lube in one hand, he used the other to trace down Aaron's body -- touching each of the scars before kissing it, a soft benediction. A reminder -- they both had scars, but they were healed or healing... and Gibbs wasn't frightened or turned off by them.

    He continued down Aaron's chest, fingers leading and lips following. When he reached Aaron's cock, he nuzzled it gently and pressed a few kisses to the base before continuing farther -- spreading lube on his fingers before gently - oh so gently - stroking the puckered entry. "How long has it been, Aaron?" Gibbs asked, his voice rough with desire. "I don't want to hurt you." He eased just a fingertip inside, twisting it slightly -- waiting to feel the muscles relax. He was no behemoth, but not exactly a small man either -- and the last thing he wanted to do was cause Aaron pain.

    * ~ *

    Tony didn't have the emotional reserves left to be angry at Abby - or to resent that she'd obviously been sent there by Ziva. Instead, he clung to her -- clung to her in a way he didn't remember doing since he was a child, and then to his favorite of the staff -- Maria, the cook.

    Abby's presence reminded him that there really were a few people in his life he could count on - that not everyone had abandoned him. True, there were more absences than presences... but Abby had been a constant from the moment she'd first hugged him, back when he started at NCIS. Gibbs, too, though their relationship hadn't always been easy... Tim, and Ducky, and Jimmy.

    When his sobs had calmed enough that he thought he could speak, he cleared his throat. He didn't pull back from the hug... partly because Abby hugs were magical, and partly because he didn't want to see pity in her face. "Ziva sent you, didn't she? What did she tell you?"
     
  17. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    Aaron chuckled. "I do say that. I can't resist teasing you." He said and then leaned into Gibbs's touch, when the other man tangled his hand into his hair and pulled him back into a kiss. He liked the way it felt, and definitely wasn't going to complain. When their lips met, as they kissed, he sneaked his tongue out and ran it over Gibbs's bottom lip. A quick swipe, to see how the other man would react to the action. The kiss was ended when Gibbs pulled back, and as the other man traced his scars with his fingers and then kissed them, it caused him to shiver in delight.

    As soon as Gibbs's hands and lips moved down from his chest, a mix between a moan and a sigh left him. He found himself unable to keep from bucking his hips a little, when Gibbs nuzzled his cock and kissed it. When he felt the other man's fingers at their target, he froze for a moment, and then relaxed. "Years," He admitted and then shrugged. "The only other time I slept with another man was back in college.
    It's going to hurt, there's no way to avoid it. But that's okay. I want to do this. I'm prepared
    to deal with a little pain, because the rest will make it better..."

    His words trailed off as Gibbs worked a finger inside of him, and his breath came out sharply, but he didn't ask to stop. They trusted each other to convey their needs. If it got to be too much, they knew the other would say so, without hesitation, even if it put an end to things. The trust between them was well earned, over a period of years. So, if they said to keep going, they trusted the other's judgement. "Keep going," He said softly, and focused his attention on the other man's body. He used his own fingers to trace over Gibbs's skin.

    He kept his attention on that for the moment, as they worked through the rough beginning. "You're not going to break me, Jethro. We both know that we're both made of sterner stuff than most people think." He fell silent a moment later, and then shifted a little so that Gibbs would have better access.


    ____________________

    Abby nodded, as they continued to hug. "Yeah, Ziva sent me. She didn't tell me much. All her text said was that you needed a friend. And going by what she didn't say, it couldn't be her, for whatever reason. So, I told her that I'd come over and here I am. You don't have to tell anything, Tony. We're friends, no, we're family. I'm just here to
    be there for you for whatever you need." The hug lasted until the coffee pot beeped and let them know it was ready. She reluctantly released him from the hug and then made them each a large mug of coffee.

    She carefully set them down on the table. Once she had done that, she moved the things that were currently there, over a little so that they didn't risk spilling on them.
    Then, she walked back over to Tony once more, and wrapped him up in another hug. "You're drunk, Tony. It's never a good idea to get drunk when you're upset. It only makes you feel even worse than you already felt. So, come sit down with me.
    We can talk, or not talk. I just want you to know that I'm here, for whatever you need from
    me."

    "If you need someone to rant at, if you need to cry some more, that's okay. I can and will take, anything that you need me to. All you have to do, is tell me what you need." After she spoke, she released him from the second hug and took one of his hands into hers. She led him to the table, and once they were both seated, she pushed the bigger mug of coffee in front of him. "Drink, and don't bother arguing. You should sober up before you do or say something that you'll regret, something that you might not be able to take back."

    Once she had spoken, she got up and started to rummage through Tony's cabinets, and pulled out some crackers and brought them to the table as well. "We both know that it's a horrible idea to drink on an empty stomach. So, eat. And drink the coffee, otherwise you'll feel like complete hell in the morning when you wake up. Don't even bother arguing with me, it's no use. You know that I'm right, and you also know that it's futile to argue with women.." She said the last part teasingly, hoping to cheer him up a little.
     
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2018 at 1:05 AM
  18. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    "Know you can take pain, Aaron," Jethro murmured. "Doesn't mean I want to hurt you." But he did go about working Aaron open with a little more vigor, and by the time he was up to three fingers, he was panting in desire himself. "Hasn't been as long for me. Should have volunteered," Jethro muttered. There wasn't much brain capacity left for him to produce words -- not with Aaron spread out beneath him, a slight sheen of sweat building between them. Wanting to distract Aaron from the discomfort, Jethro leaned over and caught the head of Aaron's cock between his lips, using his tongue to lap up the precum. It was almost more than Jethro could take, and he had to recite half a dozen of his own rules - just for the distraction - before he was sure he wasn't going to surge up and take Aaron by force.

    "You got no idea what you do to me, Aaron Hotcher," Jethro gasped out, releasing Aaron's cock just long enough to say it, before returning to it with a vengeance. It had been a couple of years since he'd given a blow job, but this was different -- this one mattered. This man mattered, in a way previous partners hadn't. He found himself wanting Aaron's pleasure more than his own, in a way he hadn't felt since Shannon... and for once, the memory of his beloved first wife didn't halt his actions.

    If Shannon had still been alive, she'd have been astride Aaron already, letting Jethro taste their mingled flavors -- and was perhaps that ghostly benediction that made Jethro have to reach down and squeeze the base of his cock, staving off his orgasm. "Want you," he managed to say, pulling off just long enough to get the words out. "Are you ready?"

    * ~ *

    Tony debated. He knew she was right - he needed to talk. He'd talked to Jimmy, but not in as much detail as he'd wanted. It was different, someone, to unload on a male buddy -- even a married male buddy -- than it was on his female best friend. Actually, at the moment, he was fairly sure Abby was his only female friend. But Ziva wouldn't have sent Abby if she wasn't willing to risk Tony telling her -- surely by now, Ziva knew Tony was incapable of lying to Abby?

    "Arguing with women is kind of how I got into this mess," Tony said with a long sigh, but took the coffee and crackers gratefully. "I can already sense a Dinozzo Defibrillator in my future." He tried to make it a joke, but it fell flat. "Look, I want to tell you - need to tell somebody. But this is like -- this is bigger than the Mother Of All Secrets, Abbs." His voice cracked on the word 'mother'. "This is... this is the Mother Mary of All Secrets. I shouldn't have to ask - because I trust you, Abbs, I do -- but I need to know this goes no further. I can't..." He covered his face with one hand. "I can't take it, if everybody knows. Especially Gibbs."
     
  19. JaSamFan88

    JaSamFan88 Mi amore Member

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    Aaron couldn't help the smile that came to his face at Jethro's words. He was glad that the other man had taken him at his word. And as Jethro worked his first finger inside, and then spent the next little while working two more fingers inside, he was panting with want and need. His cock leaked and ached, and and his mind was starting to cloud over with lust. But even as that happened, he still heard Jethro's other words. "It's fine, don't worry about it.." He soothed the other man. At the other man's words, he smirked and said, "I have an idea."

    "If I drive you half as crazy as you drive me, then I'm sure I do know." His words cut off and only moans came out when he felt Jethro's mouth take his cock. The room spun and his mind went blank, but that didn't matter. All he could focus on was the pleasure that Jethro was giving him. His hips bucked, and he shoved a little more of his cock
    into the other man's mouth, unable to help reacting to the amazing sensations.
    By the time Jethro asked if he was ready, all he could do was nod and move into a more comfortable position for them both.

    He would make this as easy on Jethro as possible, wanting the other man to enjoy it just as much as they already were. His eyes dropped down to Jethro's cock and he prepared himself to have it pushed inside of him, and after a moment of hesitation, he looked up and met the other man's eyes dead on. "I'm ready, go ahead." A smile returned to his lips, and he kept his eyes locked on Jethro's as they did this. There was no way he was going to act like this didn't mean anything to him. Like it didn't
    mean anything to Jethro.

    To both of them and their friendship. He had meant what he'd said earlier when he'd agreed to be monogamous. He was a one person type of man, who loved and respected his partner. That's who he's always been and who he always will be. And the same went for Jethro. It's probably one of the big reasons they work well together.


    _____________________


    Abby reached out and rested a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Whatever you tell me, I'll keep to myself, Tony. Unless you're sick or in some kind of trouble. There's no way in hell that I'm going to hide something like that from the others. We're family, and we look out for our own. But anything else, and I promise that I'll keep it to myself." After
    she spoke, she pointed to the food and coffee. "Eat and drink, while you talk. I'm not going anywhere and I cancelled my plans that I had for the day so that I could be here."

    "Now, get to eating and talking."
    Her words were firm, but there was a bit of gentleness underlying them. And anyone who knew her, knew that she was tough, but that she also cared and it would be easy for anyone to see. After she had spoken, she let silence fall between the two of them and she let Tony gather his thoughts, and didn't rush him. Whatever was going on had to be huge, given the impact it had had on him, and how he had chosen to respond to whatever was going on. She just hoped she could help.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2018
  20. Marie Adriana

    Marie Adriana Lady of the North Community Helpers

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    Jethro reached for the condom -- glad that Aaron had had the foresight to unwrap it before they had gotten the lube out -- and rolled it down over his cock, squeezing again at the base. Just looking down at Aaron, wantonly spread for him, was enough to make Jethro dizzy.

    It might have been easier, after such a long period between male lovers, for Jethro to take Aaron in another position -- on his knees or on his side, maybe. But he needed to see Aaron's face -- needed to know he wasn't hurting him unbearably... needed to see that stoic, steady man fall apart under his hands.

    Carefully -- and he didn't think he'd entered anyone so carefully since his wedding night with Shannon -- Jethro eased forward into Aaron. The tightness was incredible -- hot, both in temperature and desire. He moved slowly, watching Aaron's face... wanting to see the same fierce pleasure in Aaron's eyes that he was feeling.

    "You feel amazing," Jethro managed to say, trembling with the effort of keeping his movement slow -- easing into Aaron as gently as he could despite every instinct wanting to rut into him. "God, tell me this is good for you."

    * ~ *

    Tony reached for crackers and coffee obediently, and ate and drank in silence for several minutes as he marshaled his thoughts. He didn't know of any softer way to say it -- and no matter how he told her, Abby was going to be upset. He just hoped she could put that aside long enough for him to pull himself together. "Ziva was pregnant when she left." His voice sounded distant - almost emotionless. "Eli knew. He sent her on missions anyway. She - she got sent after Trent Kort and he... he killed our daughter."

    If he could have heard himself -- if he'd been listening to an interrogation -- he'd have recognized the tone as that of a man at his utter limit. He knew - in that quiet, intellectual corner of his brain that sounded like a cross between Gibbs and Ducky - that he was in a dangerous place, emotionally. His own thoughts earlier -- that he wouldn't really mind not waking up tomorrow, if it meant the pain was gone -- proved that.

    He hadn't felt this bereft - this adrift - since his mother had died.

    "I don't know what to do, Abbs," Tony admitted finally. "Ziva hid our daughter from me - hid her, and ran. Wouldn't or couldn't let me protect them, and now... now it's too late. She couldn't trust me with Tali -- couldn't trust me with herself. And now she sits across from me in the bullpen with her eyes wide, pleading me to understand -- and I don't. I don't understand." He stood and began pacing. "Why did she leave me, Abbs? Why does everyone leave me?"
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2018

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