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 Questions I don't know what to do anymore...

Discussion in 'Questions & Suggestions' started by iplayfallout, Sep 28, 2018.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Local Time:
    4:51 AM
    More would be much better. I have noticed though that generally speaking RP'ers in their own way are quite conservative and traditional. Look at all the helpless damsels in the request threads!
     
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  2. Teneo Lupum

    Teneo Lupum damned if you do, damned if you don’t Member

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    Some of us do more than that. You just have to know where to look.
     
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  3. Alchemy

    Alchemy The Rebel Queen Administrator

    Messages:
    2,070
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    I think just in general, it can take some pounding the pavement to find what you're looking for. I know several ladies on the site that enjoy playing strong female characters and don't lean towards damsels, but really, all in all, it's just about personal preferences. We all have them. Some are harder to find than others. Some dudes enjoy being the damsel, some girls do.

    I suggested this above, but contacting Dalliance for matchmaking can definitely help. She tends to keep her eyes out for people's preferences so she can match like-minded individuals. THere's a post with more info here:

    https://blackdahliaroleplaying.com/...lp-finding-new-partners-we-can-help-you.1511/

    It may also help to look for other people that enjoy femme domme RPs and take a looksie at who they are writing with. A lot of times that is how I look for new partners. I find people who share my interests and see who they're writing with.
     
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  4. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Local Time:
    4:51 AM
    Tell me then because in my 10 years of rp'ing I have not come across many women wanting to play a more dominant type of character.

    And yes of course I have looked but you can't find what isn't there. ;-)
     
  5. Teneo Lupum

    Teneo Lupum damned if you do, damned if you don’t Member

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    Go ahead and PM me if you’d like. I don’t want to clutter up the thread with an off topic discussion.
     
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  6. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Local Time:
    4:51 AM
    It's ok, I know it is a very small percentage of RP'ers and I have also noticed an aggro atmosphere on this forum so I am growing tired of it in general.
     
  7. Tanakalian

    Tanakalian Dreamwalker Member

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    In the only two months I'm here, I've been frustrated so many times with plays that were abandoned a few posts in. I think it's safe to say that each and everyone of us has got things we desperately want to play and other things would maybe like, but none of them seem to be going. It's been said a few times before me, so I shall not repeat it, don't let yourself get put off if things down't work. It's a matter of trial and error.

    What I do want to say though is that I have never seen anything of an aggro atmosphere here, the contrary really, I have been on quite a few other sites, in the 25+ years that I'm RP'ing and I've been in dumpsters you don't want to witness, the bunch here are extremely helpful.

    I wish you all the luck.
     
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  8. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Local Time:
    4:51 AM
    I've been a member of a few "dumpsters" as well. I guess that has had an effect on me in the sense that my tolerance is low when I notice behaviour which is even slightly aggro. As I mentioned, I am just over it.
     
  9. outsourced

    outsourced Queen of Desires Member

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    Hello, newbie here, and I'd have to say this is a really interesting conversation.

    I've been out of the RP scene for a while, but I think the experience of trying every other shoe until it fits hasn't ever left the atmosphere. RP is, at its best, a matchmaking set-up — you’re not gonna know what you get until you put yourself out there, and really, it takes a bit of luck mining through the bad stuff before you strike gold. There's what you'd call unspoken factors that go into securing an RP, and even if you manage to tick off those boxes, you'd also have to maintain interest in the long run, or else it'll fall short. Be it on forums or one-on-ones, I think people encounter mostly the same obstacles: 1) Your partner's not into it 2) Your partner's into it but you're not into your partner 3) You've hit middle ground but realised the two of you have different styles when it comes to writing 4) You've gotten the lucky draw but then, the other party ghosted.

    People are finicky, and we can't really do anything about it but just let it go. I myself have the mindset that if someone ghosts on me then, good riddance! I'll find someone better. But finding someone can take months or even years. You either keep writing or you don't, because keeping at it and hacking away at your progress makes you a better writer even if you haven't attracted an equal partner. Sometimes, you'd also have to lower the bar you have too, and learn to just take pleasure in the offerings of RP, because it is very rare that you'll stumble right away into that golden nugget of a partner. Really, what everyone else said is true. You have to endure the bitter parts, because that's what gives the rewarding feeling when you finally do get that person off the claw machine.

    Also referring to what Morlock has said — that part’s also true :joy: I, for one, love writing intelligent women who aren't always on the lookout for that one macho homme on the block, but it's also quite easy for me to find partners and get swamped. Maybe it's just my personality, or maybe I just got better with age (y) Anyways, at the end of it, I still wish you luck! May you find someone one of these days!
     
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  10. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Local Time:
    4:51 AM
    I think you get a lot of responses because there are a lot of people out there who want to play sub type male characters against more well rounded female characters. There is clearly a market for it and as you are finding out there is a lack of females like yourself to write with.

    Just to clarify though, I find it difficult to find partners of any kind in general. I realize this is in part due to myself, I have had too many RP's get dropped and written with too many people who to put it bluntly aren't very good. So I really do scrutinize any responses I get before I even think about starting a RP with them. In the end this all adds up to time and dropped RP's are a waste of it. So yeah I am fussy but for good reason.

    Also to clarify, I'm not complaining per se, I am just also interested in the discussion and sharing my experiences and views while reading other peoples.
     
  11. outsourced

    outsourced Queen of Desires Member

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    No actually that's one of the unspoken factors that I was talking about, and you did very good job of laying it down bluntly. That's the thing about RP — it’s kinda like being subjected to a food tasting scenario and most of the time, especially as long-time RPers, we just develop that sense of whether we'd click with a person or not, and really, having that sense also makes it harder and more frustrating since you keep looking selectively but your pool of choices is rather limited as well. I wish I have a direct answer to as how one could resolve this, but unfortunately I don't so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    I do feel the exasperation you're feeling, but in summary, it comes down to luck. Apologies for not being of any help :sweat:
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Local Time:
    4:51 AM
    And of course lots of responses don't mean lots of compatible partners. It's all good, I have a partner I have been writing with for 2 years, perhaps because of that I am even more cautious and fussy about finding new ones. In the end I would prefer to find someone that I can really write with and relate to as opposed to someone who will bore me or vice versa. All good.
     
  13. WriteAngry

    WriteAngry Wild Member Member

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    Let me tell ya'll something: the best definition of heaven and hell I've heard - or let's just say the smartest elaboration of those (non-?)fictive realms.

    The issue is that everybody wants their precious little baby to be played with care. That special little itch. Roleplaying stories, fandoms and such are all give and take, really. You won't be getting the game looking like 100% you imagined it, due you're (hopefully) doing only 50% of it. Your story is going to get altered if someone is interacting with it, and if it is not, then why bother playing it with someone at all?

    The thing is with these special games that people are looking people to roleplay with. Unless you want to DM a game, to make an interactive choosing game where you make the choices, but that too will have someone altering and interfering with the game, with every reply you get.

    If the special baby needs to be played, well, the best way to reach this goal is simply to find someone whose style pleases you. Scratch its back, and hopefully it will scratch you back one day. "Me, me, me, me" doesn't really work even in roleplaying world, where participation is voluntary and time is limited.
    Getting bored to people - we all do that I suppose - happens, but we do have to remind ourselves that every time we do that ourselves.. it increases the chances that we get treated the same.

    Imagine roleplaying like dating. Our Request Threads are like Tinder-profiles. Some do it tidier, some compete to be the most attractive. Some do it for attention, whereas some try their very best to get the match of his/hers life.
    Sometimes the match doesn't work out. Sometimes it does.
    But like in everything else: you need to put in effort into relationships. Some prefer not to see effort and continue searching the Prince Charming / Princess Fantasmulous. That's their choice, naturally, and sometimes they are right to go on and search for something better. It's their lives we're talking about.

    There's no gain without effort. No output without input.

    It's not finding the perfect partner. Is about being the perfect partner yourself. And from there you can build up your special baby, together. Maybe it'll be better than you imagined.

    (Edited to take off most of the typos.)
     
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  14. GMO

    GMO Gymnastically militant orangutan Member

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    To me, this is the secret ingredient. It is my experience that the longer a person does online text-based RP, the more selective they become. Often, they become so selective, finding suitable partners becomes an increasingly difficult task, and eventually exceeds the endurance of the searcher.

    But there is a solution - be less selective. A dozen posts a day go up on requests.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
  15. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Local Time:
    4:51 AM
    That isn't the solution that is the cause of the problem. In the early days of RP'ing many of us will RP with just about anyone, some of us even having so many RP's going at once that we can't keep up. Then we notice RP's being dropped, some without even a first post from our partners. We notice that many of the RP's aren't very good.

    And so, as you say we become more and more selective. We also get older and our interests change, we want more and more depth, we want something more unique and different. And I know I also want a partner I can trade ideas with, one I know can express themselves in writing. I lose faith when I don't see certain qualities and I am gun shy to start something with the wrong person.
     
  16. GMO

    GMO Gymnastically militant orangutan Member

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    @Morlock, everything you said is totally, absolutely true. But if there comes a time when we people aren't getting play and the *want* to play, the options are thin. You can keep doing what you're doing and hope you meet someone right, but that's a low-probability solution for lots of people. Or you can re-evaluate what you want and be more open to the things other people are doing. I don't know if there are many other options.
     
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  17. His kitty.

    His kitty. I'm not just any bunny... Member

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    @iplayfallout

    Hopefully, this discussion has given you some hope, and some ways forward? Certainly, it's shown that you're not the only person who has concerns and frustrations. Hope it helps!
     
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  18. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Local Time:
    4:51 AM
    That is true too, it is all up to the individual. I choose to wait rather than play with people who I know I won't click with. Time has become precious for me and I don't want to stick with RP's or partners that don't excite me. Again though as you say there are other options depending on what the individual wants to do.
     
  19. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Local Time:
    4:51 AM
    It could be an age thing but I have noticed that the quality of conversation has gone down hill in the past few years. People will PM me wanting a RP and yet don't tell me anything about themselves, sometimes don't even read my RT. They can't even articulate what it is that they are looking for. Whether it is poor communication skills in general or they are purposely trying to be vague it doesn't go down too well.

    Given this is a hobby which involves expressing yourself via writing, the way people come across in those opening PM's is crucial.
     

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