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 Therapy

Discussion in 'Roleplay Execution' started by emesu, Jan 9, 2019.

  1. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    The cold breeze hit her as she stepped up out of the subway and onto the sidewalk. Autumn was in full swing and winter was well on its way. Kim tightened the sash on her beige double breasted coat and clasp the lapels tighter around her navy blue scarf. There wasn't anything that she could do about her ears, but she wasn't going far. It was only three blocks. She hurried her steps, thankful that she had put on extra tights under her long flower print skirt.

    Today was the day. Kim had a problem. She had always had it and had ways of dealing with it, but into her mid-thirties and single again, it was only getting worse. Sometimes she had to take time off from work. She'd already run out of sick days this year. The wind blew her dark swept bangs from her soft brown eyes and the short bobbed sides from her ears as she stopped in front of the building. She was told that it was residential beforehand, but it still didn't feel like an office to her as she lifted her narrow chin to take in the building. She double checked the address just to be sure. Hanna had referred her to him. She said that Dr Thaker had done wonders for her, but as the front steps daunted her, Kim wasn't sure if she could go through with it. It was hard enough to even open up to Hanna, her closest friend. Confiding in a complete stranger was a scary prospect. She forced her legs to climb the steps, her tan knee-high boots clicking on the cold gritty concrete. Face to face with the hardwood door, it was her last chance to turn around, take the subway back to Astoria and forget about the whole thing, but the thought of going on, the sleepless nights, the missed work, the nagging temptations, the fruitless porn searches, kept her feet planted on the spot. Kim rang the bell.
     
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  2. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    The light was just loud enough for Arjun to hear from his office. He turned his head towards the direction of the deep red door. He had been reading up on the file of his newest patient— Ms. Kimberly Quyn Vega. He hadn’t much of a clue about the woman, other than what her general practitioner had forwarded to him. Most likely it’d be like most of his other clients— anxiety, seasonal depresssion, the usual that came along with living in the northeastern corridor.

    His wooden soled loafers clacked against the rosewood floors, he dressed relatively cassually, his navy blue slacks and loafers gave an air of professionalism, but his white turtleneck was just casual enough to make it seem like a friend was just coming over to “shoot the shit.” That’s what his goal was primarily— too make his patients as comfortable as possible with him so they could get whatever was weighing on their shoulders off.

    Arjun smiles as he opened the door to be greated by the young women in a dress and jacket. “Ms. Vega,” he said as he extended his hand for a firm and collegiate handshake, “I’m Dr. Thaker. Please do come inside.” He shifted aside and let her into his foyer.

    His home was a comfortable townhouse that was situated in Greenwich village, the walls were a light grey and were accented by white wooden paneling that ran midway in tandem with white moldings. A spiraling stairway lead upstairs to the upper floors of the building while a hallway led to the kitchen and other rooms. Rather than going straight, Arjun turned right to a white door which lead into his office. “Please take a seat anywhere.”
     
  3. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    Wooden footsteps approached behind the door before it unlatched and calmly swung wide to reveal Dr Thaker. Kim was mildly surprised to see him tall trim and youthful with a full head of thick dark wavy hair. The clean white of his sweater made his golden skin appear distinctly olive. Inwardly, she chastised herself for expecting someone tweed salt-and-pepper and Freudian. She'd never been to a shrink before, leaving her preconceptions based on the fictional trope. She felt silly.

    "Ms. Vega. I'm Dr. Thaker. Please do come inside."

    It was an ironic choice of greeting. Immediately next to her was the door to his office. She entered. On the right was the doctor's desk set before the large front windows, their heavy green curtains spread wide to the grey autumn day. Before her, logs crackled unassumingly in the fireplace with all of his credentials framed above. Distinctly Kim was able to read 'Cornell' and 'Harvard'.

    "Thank you," she said quietly as her soft brown eyes peered at him from beneath the sweep of her neat brunette bob. Like her body, her face was long, her jaw narrow. Faint micro freckles dotted her the fair skin of her cheeks and nose. Pearl studs adorned her lobes and a hint of aqua shadow graced her eyelids. "Kim is fine."

    She removed her scarf and coat, perching them on the stand just inside the door, showing her five-foot-eight willowy figure. Her soft light blue knit draped trim but relaxed over her flat chest and down over her subtly flaring hips, its v-neck neatly framing the crisp open collar of the white blouse beneath. Her skirt was a dark maroon, almost brown, and finely patterned with soft pink and sky blue petals tangled in vines and leaves of dark green. Kim smoothed it down her legs with nervous care as she sat herself in the closest chair to her in front of his desk, and perched herself rather rigidly upon its edge with her purse in her lap as she prepared to summon the courage to divulge what the doctor would invariably need to ask of her, her deepest shame.
     
  4. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    Arjun smiled lightly as she said that she preferred Kim— he brandished a fresh moleskin notebook that was untouched save the label that had been written on it that had a serial number and Kim’s last name on the cover. “This is your first visit to a psychiatrist correct?” He asked as he opened the black lacquered fountain pen as he sat down in his seat— it was a tall single seat, it’s wooden legs curved like claws and had leather arm rests and cushioning.

    The notebook rested on the right arm rest as he looked up at her for a moment, making note of her answer. He reached over with his left arm to the side table that had a pair of tortoiseshell square frames that he slid on. “I’m sure you were expecting an aging man wearing a tweed jacket with a thick pair of black glasses.” He paused as he took a sip of water. “I know I don’t meet the stereotype, but hopefully I’ll be more helpful than your average Freudian.”

    He smiled lightly, Arjun couldn’t help notice how nervous she looked, she was practically about to fall off her seat. “Please get comfortable. I want you to want to speak with me, not have to speak to me.” Arjun has a feeling that she wasn’t about to justness open the floodgates and divulge everything— many patients often didn’t feel like they could be completely open in general. “I know you’ve been having trouble with sleeping, concentrating at work, general anxiety.” He moved his hand as he spoke, “Et Cetra. So why do you think all of this has started to happen? Really why don’t you give me a timeline of when all of this started to happen?”
     
  5. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    "This is your first visit to a psychiatrist, correct?"

    "Mm-hmm," she nodded quietly.

    He pulled out a notebook, dedicated to her issues with her name. All that she told him would be recorded for posterity, for history. However, as much as the notion of having her dark secrets permanized in hard copy mildly queazed her, Kim couldn't hold that against him. Of course he had to take notes, although she did find it quaint of him to use a fountain ink in lieu of ball point or even pencil.

    "I'm sure you were expecting an aging man wearing a tweed jacket with a thick pair of black glasses. I know I don't meet the stereotype, but hopefully I'll be more helpful than your average Freudian."

    It was as if he was reading her mind, nearly word-for-word. Somewhat spooked, Kim nearly gawked, but managed to keep herself steeled, convincing her brain that his choice of words was mere coincidence.

    "I want you to want to speak with me, not have to speak to me. I know you've been having trouble with sleeping, concentrating at work, general anxiety. Et cetra. So why do you think all of this has started to happen? Really why don't you give me a timeline of when all of this started to happen?" the doctor asked. Kim paused to inhale and vent her stress before speaking.

    "It's always been with me," she admitted, then clarified. "Well, since puberty." Kim stopped to trace her eyebrow with her finger as she put her words together. "There have been stages when its flared worse and other times when it has been quite mild, but for the last year it's been getting out of control." Finally she lifted her eyes to his ornate lenses across the desk. This was it. It was time to spill her guts about her secret shame. "I have estrus," she stated. "A few days each month, intense tormenting debilitating insatiable, estrus." She played with the strap of her purse, tracing her thumb and finger along its length. "I know its a common thing, but what I have is not common." Admission made, she averted her eyes.
     
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  6. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    Arjun’s eyes fell to her hand as she ran her finger along her eyebrow, he made a note of it as he listened to her speak. It was clear that she was nervous, her hands didn’t seem to stop moving as she played with the strap of her purse, Arjun made note of that as well, jotting down:

    Anxious, ashamed, frustrated?

    He continued to listen as she spoke, slowly, revealing what the issue was. Estrus. Sexually frustrates patients wasn’t anything new, often enough he had to just convince them to buy a vibrator or just begin masturbating at a regular basis. He made note of this as well.

    Solution: masturbation? Normalize sexual behavior/ activity to decrease shame and anxiety associated with said behavior.

    As she averted her eyes he put down his pen and folded his hands together, he paused for a moment before speaking as he compiled his thoughts, “Foremost you shouldn’t be ashamed about your sexual urges, least be if their innocuous, which I will assume they are.” He paused as he continues to speak, “Whatever urges you have are normal for you and that shouldn’t deter you in general from trying to satisfy your needs. I’ve had plenty of clients who are ashamed about masturbating or using a device to facilitate sexual pleasure, you should also think about trying to find a sexual partner that can meet your needs. But moving away from these solutions, which are preemptive since we’ve only breached the subject, tell me when did the estrus become worse? Do you have a time frame you can elaborate on?”
     
  7. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    "Foremost you shouldn't be ashamed about your sexual urges, least be if they're innocuous, which I will assume they are. Whatever urges you have are normal for you and that shouldn't deter you in general from trying to satisfy your needs."

    Kim shook her bowed head slowly, subtly. He was assuming wrong. The doctor didn't understand the depth of what she was telling him, of course she had barely introduced him to the surface. She wouldn't hold that against him.

    "But moving away from these solutions, which are preemptive since we've only breached the subject, tell me when did the estrus become worse? Do you have a time frame you can elaborate on?"

    "A year-and-a-half ago," she began. "I left a long term relationship, and I think well into my thirties and single - well I know it is this - the anxieties that go with that have affected my body." Kim took another calming breath before continuing. "You don't understand. It's not about sexual satisfaction," she explained, trembles creeping into her low voice. "A fabulous orgasm doesn't make it go away." She laughed nervously with inward sarcasm, battling tears that she felt welling up. Kim touched her finger tips to her shut eyelid, trying to keep them from falling. "It's about being inseminated," she sniffed. Her voice started to whine as her throat tightened in shame. "Masturbation doesn't make it go away. Birth control doesn't make it go away. Porn only makes it worse," she said as her admissions broke her down and tears rolled down her cheeks.
     
  8. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    Arjun subconsciously reached for the box of tissues that he kept on his desk— tears were a common feature in his line of work, he simply hadn’t expected it from his current patient so quickly. He stood up and sat down next to her, as he handed her the box. He put his hand on her back as he patted her gently, “You’re already making progress here by coming forward and speaking about this issue you’ve been having.” He made note mentally of the fact that all of this could be stemming from the fact that she had just left a long-term relationship.

    He continues to comfort her as he spoke lightly, “So have you attempted to sedate these urges? As in engage with men? Or have you left this unexplored?” He watched her carefully, noting on her most acute reactions.
     
  9. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    "So have you attempted to sedate these urges? As in engage with men? Or have you left this unexplored?"

    Kim was mildly surprised by his touch as he drew up the other chair next to her thinking that such physical contact might have been considered unprofessional, but regardless, she did not mind. Taking the tissue that he offered, she wiped her face, a hint of her mascara smudging dark as she took it away.

    "Oh, I've explored," she nodded heavy with shame. "I engage all the time," she said, her voice tightening up into a whine. The tissue was back up to her face as she cowered and sobbed. Her hand trembled as it wiped the flow of fresh tears that the tissue was insufficient for. There were so many shameful details that could be told - the drunken one night stands, the infections, the abortions. "That's why I need help," she hissed weakly between heavy sobs.
     
  10. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    Arjun handed her more tissues as she spoke and sobbed lightly, dabbing her eyes as she revealed tidbits that Arjun wrote down. “And how has that worked out for you? Has it been helpful?” He asked the fairly obvious question, if it had been helpful than she would’ve simply not been here.

    Arjun. Issued his leg and twisted the pen in his hand without thinking. His brown eyes settled on her as he reached with his free hand to pour a glass of water into one of two silver cups from a copper water jug. He leaned forward and placed the glass of water in front of Kim. “The water will help. Take a sip.”

    He paused as he gave a follow up question, “of these attempts which did you feel was the most helpful versus the least?”
     
  11. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    "And how has that worked out for you? Has it been helpful?"

    The doctor was touchy again as he softly wiped her tears, and again, she was a little bit surprised that she didn't really mind.

    "Not helpful," Kim shook her head. "Not helpful at all," she sniffed in her humiliation.

    He poured her some water and handed it to her. She took it and sipped. The coolness trickled down inside her chest and into her tummy. The physical sensations eased her somewhat, taking her mind off of her shame even if only slightly. Perhaps water was the great agent of balance after all. She'd always found the sound of rushing water calming.

    "Of these attempts, which did you feel was the most helpful versus the least?"

    "They're all the same," she sniffed again, tissue in one hand, cup in the other. Indeed they were. Most of the men were content to just take the sex and run. That was fine with her. In fact it was always much simpler that way. Others tried to set up routine booty calls with someone so easy. Still, even the rare ones who seemed more affectionate, she could not open up to in the morning. Kim was always too ashamed of herself to ever return a call. How could any of them possibly ever respect her? She didn't respect herself. "They're only temporary relief," she explained. Kim knew that her answers were brief and despite the fact that she had just told him more than she had told almost anyone else, she felt guilt that she hadn't offered up enough information. Arjun was trying to help her after all. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "This is just difficult. I hope you understand." Somehow she felt that he would.
     
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  12. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    Arjun continued to write on his notebook, his pen gliding across the pages effortlessly as his concentration remained unbroken. His hand as the session on was increasingly becoming smudged with the royal blue ink that also stained the pages. "Alright." He would say in acknowledgment of her story. The main word he underlined and wrote in all caps was

    GUILT

    He pushed up his glasses as she finished speaking, "There's no need to apologize Kim, you have every right to tell your story as you see fit, the length and your verbosity isn't something to feel guilty about." He smiled lightly as he wrote down apologetic as well. Placing his pen down, Arjun folded his hands together, "We're going to do this." Arjun pulled out a blank notebook, but rather than being a leather bound book, it was bound in paper and put it on his desk in front of him. "You're going to keep a diary, and any time you have a thought, a feeling, an urge, either it be mundane as wanting a cookie to wanting to your wildest fantasy, anything that you feel remotely guilty about, I want you to write down in here."
     
  13. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    "There's no need to apologize Kim ..."

    Kim could find nothing wrong with his addressing her directly by her name, yet she still felt a shiver of intimacy when he did, a shiver that seemed to linger on even after she heard his fountain tip dutifully scratch more notes upon her blotter. Then he pulled away and a moment later produced a second notebook, much less ornate than the first. He explained it.

    "You're going to keep a diary, and any time you have a thought, a feeling, an urge, either it be mundane as wanting a cookie to wanting to your wildest fantasy, anything that you feel remotely guilty about, I want you to write down in here."

    "Guilt?" she queried vaguely after taking a moment to collect her emotions. She supposed she had a lot of it. "Are you sure that book is big enough?" she joked with a sniff of levity. More seriously, she continued. "So like anything?" There were things that she could write down that could cost her her job. "What if someone else reads it?" she asked. "As in someone other than us," she clarified as she dabbed her eye and regripped her purse. "Like if I dropped it in the hall at work by accident?" Kim decided that she could not take such a ledger to work. It would be far too risky. Any guilt that happened there would just have to be remembered and logged when she got home.
     
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  14. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    “Then how about this. Keep track of the guilt bites on your phone during the day and then I want you to write them down in the book. It’ll preserve your privacy and you can simaltainiously reflect.” Arjun places his pen down and took off his glasses, he stood from his desk and handed her the book. “And I can assure you no one other than me will read the book, I keep this room locked when I’m not using it, so no one will stumble across it when it’s here.”

    He sat back in his chair and crossed his legs and remained silent as he looked at her, his brown eyes studying her every moment, from her clutching the bag to her dabbing her eye, “Is that amenable to you?”
     
  15. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    The doctor suggested using her phone to take notes during the work day to transfer to the book in the evening and that was certainly agreeable. Of course, the entire topic brought Michael back into her mind in all of his full force. He was gone now, but she couldn't afford to have another like him. She supposed that she could start by listing new guilt, not past issues, unless the past became fresh again. It was certainly difficult to let go. If she had to document the past, she could fill a few volumes. Kim was hoping for a clean slate.

    The book was in her hands now, and Dr Thaker stood to look upon her with eyes despectacled. He seemed less analytical and more judgmental without his lenses. Kim wondered if was the prescription glass itself of just the frames that had that effect. She had her own glasses for reading. She put the book down next to them in the bottom of her purse. She would not need to title it. It had instantly become the most obvious item in her inventory. Kim clutched the top of her bag shut to hide its neon glow.

    "I can do this," she said quietly. After a calming breath she peered up at him expectantly. "So, you think you can help me, then?" she stated as much as asked.
     
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  16. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    “I think we’ve already made progress.” Arjun said with a smile as he put his glasses back on, “it takes a lot of courage to go to someone for help, especially a stranger, and I’m glad that you were able to take that huge first step. You shouldn’t underplay your progress when you do make it and I assure you that I won’t underplay it.” Their session was coming to an end for the day, the clock made that clear. “Is there anything you’d like to ask of me? I think we’ve done quiet a bit today and we’re nearing the end of our session.”
     
  17. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    "Is there anything you'd like to ask of me?"

    Dr Thaker eyed her through his lenses again.

    "I'm sure as soon as I'm out the door I'll think of something," she blushed.

    On the way home on the train Kim didn't think of anything, really. She was rather wrung out from the emotional experience and felt that the upheaval was enough progress for one day, although she wondered just what type of shame she was expected to keep in her new log of guilt. He had said 'even over wanting a cookie'. Kim didn't have an eating disorder, although she had the same qualms over diet and figure as any other woman.

    Since Kim was not in heat, over the next few days she had not much guilt, but soon she found guilt in not having much guilt. Feeling guilt from the empty page in the notebook, she began looking for filler guilt. She ate oreos and ice cream and wrote it down. The next day, she crossed against the light. She really didn't feel guilty over that as the way had been quite clear, but Kim felt obligated to write something down.

    Bruce Bullard was the new PE teacher at work. Kim had seen him flirt with a couple of the other female teachers. Maya Fleck, one of the art teachers with her loose flannel shirt hanging from her tidy little figure, even flirted back once or twice. Bruce had a shaved head and goatee. His chest and arms bulged under his polo shirt. Kim's nerves bristled as he approached her at the coffee machine. He was a typical alpha prick.

    "Nothing like strong coffee to to help you deal with all these crazy teenagers, huh?"

    "I prefer tea, actually," Kim said softly.

    "Take it with lots of cream?" he asked slyly. The innuendo made her shudder with disgust inside.

    At home that night she curled in the corner of the sofa with her guilt ledger. She began to write in neat flowing strokes in blue ink, slowly, choosing her words and forming her sentences with care.

    ~ I don't like Bruce. I don't like him at all. He's a musclehead gym rat who thinks he's God's gift. He's a pig. I think he's trying to hit on me at work. I know he's trying to hit on me. I've seen him look at my ringless hand. He's loud. He's arrogant. He's a pig. He wants to sleep with me. He wants to add me to his colletion collection of bedpost notches.
    ~ If he caught me at my weakest, I would not be able to say no to him. It's shameful of me.


    That was guilt.

    Inevitably it came. Kim was lucky that it fell on a weekend so that it didn't interfere with work. Still it came, that quivering itch within her body to procreate, to take sperm into her womb and reproduce. The first few hours could usually be kept at bay by a distraction such as streaming a movie, but since movies without any sensual content were hard to find, Kim would more often read some non-fiction, although she knew that once her eyes grew weary enough, her ovaries would make sleep quite difficult. It was too easy to slip. All she had to do was toss back a couple of glasses of wine, quickly make herself up and head out. Even at nearly one am, it would be easy enough to get picked up and taken to bed. It rarely failed. After a couple of hours of restlessness in the sheets, she roused to find her notebook and get her thoughts down once more.

    ~ It is nearly three in the morning and I am resisting the pull. I know that the bars are closed by now but there are a couple of 24-hour diners that I know of and I have a half-bottle of merlot. There's always a guy out there willing to have you - to fuck you. It all depends on your standards and at times like this standards can get fairly low. My chest cringes but my hips writhe restlessly. I'm at odds with myself. I can't sleep. I will probably ^definitely masturbate after I write this, but it doesn't really help. It just delays and ultimately leaves me very empty, but at least it kills the time until it passes, much like this entry is doing.
    ~I'll need to come up with another word for entry from now on. It is too arousing.


    She stripped down, turned on the shower and let the water soak her scalp, stream down her face and neck, her back and the bulge of her bum, her flat chest and tummy, tame her thick dark bush and run down the crevice of her groin and down her thighs, pooling at her feet and washing away. After a couple of minutes, she sat herself in the bottom corner and began to finger herself, slowly, indulgently, until her spine began to to arch in pleasure and she reached a peak quite short of orgasm. Then she stared over, slowly building with moderate success, knowing full well that her ultimate satisfaction could not be reached alone.

    At about five, she toweled herself off and slumped exhausted into bed and slept deeply. Waking up in the afternoon, she'd put her internal clock out of whack yet again. It happened nearly every month. Monday morning she would go into work feeling like a zombie, unless her heat was still in full force, in which case she might have to call in sick. On Sunday night she marked some papers, just a handful of them. Kim's progress was deliberately slow and she only marked those of girl students as thoughts of the boys often aroused her in this state, mostly reminding her of Michael. She decided to keep this out of the shame diary. She'd admitted enough in the pages already.

    If she was lucky, it only lasted a couple of days, maybe even less, and thankfully this was one of those times. It could have been much worse, as sometimes it would stretch to as much as five days, although usually it didn't get that far since by day three Kim would lose her will and spread her legs for some stranger's seed. She would be quelled, the relief a glorious high.

    Early November was much colder for her second session with Dr Thaker. Inside the brown warmth of his richly wooden office, she removed her scarf and coat and again clutched her bag on her lap as she took her seat. She had made the appointment for the Thursday as her last class block happened to be empty on that day and she could leave school early. Her dress was a knit long-sleeved turtleneck in umber, banded in black and beige about her waist. It stopped just below her knee where it met her brown leather boots, but crept up as she sat. The gloomy late afternoon was darkening through the windows behind him. She inhaled deeply and let it out slowly.

    "So," she said softly. "Round two."
     
  18. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    Arjun was finishing up writing notes into a notebook for his last session as he finished he stood up to put the notebook away amongst the rest of his books on patients and pulled out Kim’s. He pulled open to the page where he had left off, remarked by the small string that came with every one of his sets of notebooks.

    He smiled at her as he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, “Sorry I didn’t sleep particularly well last night. I was late reviewing some notes and studies. But,” he paused as he slid his glasses back on and sat back in the desk chair, crossing his legs as he focused his gaze back on her, for a moment his brown eyes glanced over to her thighs and the turtleneck dress that was just creeping up a tad bit. “It’s been around what? Two weeks when we last saw each other?” He glances down at the notebook, “Yes two weeks.”

    Arjun folded his hands together as he momentarily tapped his two index fingers together as he gathered his thoughts on how to proceed. “So how has everything been overall? I know we discussed you journaling moments of guilt. Rather than reading through it, let’s go through it together? Start from whatever or whenever you want.” He uncapped his pen, readying himself to begin taking notes.
     
  19. emesu

    emesu unwelcome but tolerated Member

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    Opening the purse, she produced the little book of guilt and placed it on the desk. Kim blushed with shame as she sat not without rigidity across from him, her notebook of misgivings laying in silent loudness between herself and the doctor.

    "I was under the impression that you would just read it," she said quietly. Then she shook her head, almost tisking in self admonishment. "Not sure where I got that assumption." Kim gripped her purse strap with anxiety, whitening her thumb knuckles. Her nails were short buffed and plain. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable reading it aloud," she said as he neck twitched subtly, as if stifling the urge to check around for witnesses. Even she knew that it was silly, that they were alone in the room. If she hadn't felt so pale, Kim would have blushed. She had already made her admissions in writing. Reading them aloud would mean admitting them again.
     
  20. kingofthesun

    kingofthesun Well-Known Member Member

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    Anxious to reveal the truth verbally. A fear of self realization?

    Arjun jotted down the notes as he took note of her body language as well. "I'm sorry," he said as he put down his pen and removed his glasses and folded his hands together, "I should have been more explicit, and I do understand as to why you'd be uncomfortable with revisiting the past moments of guilt. We never want to relive our guilty moments, let alone when those moments are the most intimate moments of our lives." He paused as he stood up, taking her notebook in hand.

    Arjun walked around the dark wooded desk and moved in front of it so he was standing in front of her, the book was tucked under his arm as he leaned against his desk and tapped his finger against the desk for a moment. Tap tap tap. While he thought of how to address this. "But it's a necessary step in not only your treatment but healing. Denying your thoughts, your actions is just another way of running away from them." He opened the notebook and skimmed through a few pages, he caught the words heat and masturbate. "You were in heat this past week?" He shut the notebook and placed it on his desk as he sat down in the single cough with a high back that resembled more of a plush throne than a couch, "How did you handle it?"
     

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